I Hear You

Repair Communication Breakdowns, Negotiate Successfully, and Build Consensus . . . in Three Simple Steps

 I Hear You

Author: Donny Ebenstein
Pub Date: December 2013
Print Edition: $24.95
Print ISBN: 9780814432198
Page Count: 288
Format: Hardback
e-Book ISBN: 9780814432204

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Frustrated with the difficult people in your work life? With the boss who barks orders, the colleague who misses deadlines, the client who can’t articulate what he really wants? Conflict at work can be especially draining when everything you say or do to solve the problem only seems to make it worse. So how can you get unstuck and fix the inevitable breakdowns in communication?

Even situations that seem hopeless can be turned around quickly, and you have the power to do it. The key is to not merely use different words but to learn to think differently.

Written by a skilled mediator and conflict negotiator, I Hear You supplies proven techniques for stepping beyond the confines of your own viewpoint and fully grasping the perspectives of others: what drives them to do the things they do, and how very differently they might perceive the same situation. By making this simple but radical shift in thinking, your words will follow suit, paving the way to better conversations and greatly improved outcomes.

I Hear You delivers a wealth of valuable resources to guide you on the path from opposition to understanding, conflict to consensus, including:

• Sample dialogues illustrating both con­structive and damaging conversations

• How to tell the other person’s story—the cornerstone of real engagement

• Tips for erasing internal resistance and defense mechanisms that can block you from seeing other viewpoints and derail dialogue

• Guidelines for identifying the systemic factors that fuel your conflicts

• How to use the powerful technique of role playing to improve your skills in stuck situations

When conflict erupts in your professional or personal life, it’s natural to categorize the players and issues as “right” or “wrong”. But that splintered thinking is rarely helpful and often leads to further turmoil. You can’t fix people, and you can’t control every situation. But I Hear You will give you the insights and practical tools to view communication challenges through a wider, more nuanced lens, and to locate the words, the tone, and the perspective needed to empathetically hear the other side—and help them hear you.

Donny Ebenstein is an international expert in communication, negotiation, and conflict resolution. He has trained, coached, and mediated for private and public sector clients across five continents, with extensive experience in the Middle East. He holds a degree from Harvard Law School and lives in New York City with his wife and three sons.

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